Post by Neco on Aug 2, 2010 11:02:38 GMT -5
So I don't think I ever showed these off here... but now I am.
Scary.
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Loki vs. The Non-Reindeer
[/b]Scary.
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Loki vs. The Non-Reindeer
A Wow You Have Too Much Time On Your Hands Production
I have a dog. His name is Loki.
Loki sits.
Loki eats.
Loki sleeps.
Loki plays PS3.
But you see, Loki is a Lapponian herder, the dog of Finland and bred for reindeer herding!
Like this dog.
Unfortunately, we live in Chicago.
And as I'm sure you all well know, Chicago is famous for its reindeer-free roadways.
What we do have is white-tailed deer. Many... many... many... ok a buttload of white-tailed deer that eat my d**n lawn and need to go back to the woods! Chicago has no woods! WE ARE BUILDINGS, DEER DON'T FIT, GO AWAY.
...They look like this.
So tired of Loki's laziness, I say to Loki: "Loki, you must learn to herd reindeer in order to pay for all the food you steal from my fridge, electricity for your PS3 and the mental anguish you cause me every time you take a breath!"
Loki reacts quite well, given his... condition.
"Oh, come on," I say, "you'll be fine! Death is a 10 to 1 chance! Plus I have a bunch of back ups, so it's not like you'll really die!"
"Silly Loki, you're a dog, you can't have a lawyer. You don't have thumbs to call one!"
So I take Loki to what counts as woods in Chicago: well, ok, there are no such thing as woods in Chicago, but I took him to place where deer show up.
Like my lawn.
JERKS.
At first, nothing happens.
But I guess instinct takes over, or the deer see a new daffodil to eat, or the deer just has more sense than my poor dog, for they are off! And Loki runs after them, bless him. And...
He herds!
He defies all expectations!
He... doesn't watch where he's going.
Oh dear.
No pun intended.
Poor Loki. I should've known better: white-tailed deer are not reindeer. Persecution by Animal Control has made them into beasts that cannot be stopped... unless you have a net, and let's face it, Loki's too dumb to even be a stick. In the mud. Petrified mud.
So Loki sits. He eats. He sleeps. He still plays PS3. But... sometimes you just need to accept people [or dogs] the way they are.
After all... Loki's far too sexy for hard work.
Finis[/b].
Credits
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